January Recap

I started the year with great ambition.  Honestly, I haven't done much that has been on my list of goals and intentions.  Actually, I haven't done anything yet.

I am not sure why, but January just moved right along without me.  I know a lot of people don't like February, but January is usually hard for me.  Christmas is over, and though I am always planning for the new year, the month of January always makes me feel like I'm on hold or something.  And I guess it just always feels longer since not much happens.  For me at least, it's usually a "clean up" time.  You know, put away the Christmas decorations, get the house back in order, put away the gifts and clean out what is no longer needed.  All of these things need to be done, and in and of themselves they are not difficult for me.  But I think that having it all be part of January makes it seem like the month drags.

On the plus side, I didn't get sick this January, like I have the past two years.  And, we definitely did not have a wimpy month, weather-wise.  I did eat too much, and didn't really exercise at all.  I didn't spend a lot of money on useless things, and I did finish one knitting project and nearly finish another one that has been languishing.

I guess the most frustrating thing is that I just didn't care enough about anything.  Not really depressed, just uninterested.  I did what I absolutely needed to do  - went to work, did laundry, fed us, etc. - but did not feel the desire or the need to make any real effort.

I'm getting a little bit itchy do get a move on some things.  So we'll see if February makes me feel any more like I'm back on track.  I hope it does, because even though I've been uninterested, I've *wished* I was not ...

Having said all of that, it wasn't a terrible month ... it just ... was.

A Slow Start

Well, I don't know about you, but my 2014 has gotten off to a slow start.  Not terrible, just slow.

For one thing, we are just this weekend finishing putting away the Christmas decorations.  Since The Tim works two evenings and week, and one weekend day,
it takes us longer both to put up the decorations and take them down than it used to.  It's not a big deal/problem, but it just means we move a little more slowly into the new year activities than we used to.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I was completely unable to do much of anything for a whole weekend.  I had what my doctor called "an acute cardiopulmonary episode brought on by inflammation."  What happened was that on Saturday night before I went to bed, my right shoulder started hurting -  not soreness, more like stiffness.  Then I woke up in the middle of the night feeling the same kind of incredible pain in my whole body.  I also could not take a deep breath without pain.  For about 36 hours, I just literally had to sit in a chair, breathe slowly, and move very little.  Then as quickly as it arrived, it departed.  It was scary and disconcerting.  And I lost a whole weekend, for most intents and purposes.

But of course, it's only January.  And it's not like I'm in a contest, it's just that I like to feel like I get going quickly at the beginning of the year.

Every day is a new day though, so here's to a better one today.

Enjoy your weekend!

Fresh Start

Last year, I had some goals for myself for the year, and though it wasn't perfect, I did OK with them.  I'm hoping that I can improve on that this year.

I think I mentioned here in previous posts, that I finally realized that making New Year's resolutions just didn't work for me.  Once I started to think of goals and intentions, I took a different approach, and even when I didn't exactly reach them, I didn't have the same feeling of failure as I did with failed New Year's resolutions.  On the one hand, it's the terminology, but on the other hand, my goals and intentions were things that were more or less baby steps, not all-encompassing.

This year, I am going to work on the following:

1.  Fitness.  I didn't do as well as I'd hoped, partly because of a few illnesses that knocked me out for weeks at a time, and partly because I got lazy.  I'm still more fit than I was in previous years, but this year, I'd like to be more active.  So I'm hoping to ride my bicycle more (though not in the snow!), and I want to try some low-key running through a Couch to 5K program.  My goal with that would be to run a 5K this year.  I'd also like to do some hiking, and am hoping to get The Tim involved in that as well.  (We'll see.)

2.  Food.  I eat pretty healthily, so there are no major changes for me here.  But I would like to put more effort into cooking things that will serve more than one meal.  It's nice during the week to come home and be able to have a nice meal without it taking hours to fix.  So I'm going to try and expand my repertoire of soups, casseroles, and other dishes that by their nature make more than just two servings.

3.  Clothing.  I'm going to try and make my wardrobe more cohesive, and wearable.  I want to go through my closet and only keep the things that I really like, will actually wear/still fit, and work with more than one other item that I own.  It's not like I have a vast wardrobe, but it's become a mishmash of stuff over the past couple of years, and I want to pare it down.  I may try to save some money and invest in a new winter coat or some other big item, but will try to keep my spending under control otherwise.

4.  Beauty products/habits.  I already have this pretty well under control, so I'll try to stay with my good habits here.

5.  Attitude.  For the past couple of years, I've tried the One Little Word for the year idea.  My word for both of those years was "kindness" and though I'm not through working on that, I can say that I have been successful in being conscious of the word and changing my behavior.  I hope that now it will be a habit, so I'm choosing another word for 2014, which is grace.  As in a quote I saw here: "I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection."  Which basically means to remember that perfect should never get in the way of good.  I tend to be an obsessive perfectionist, and though I'm better at letting perfection go than I used to be, I need to work on it more.  Plus, I would really like to live my life with more grace and graciousness, in the hope to make grace work with kindness.  Life doesn't have to be as complicated as I often make it, and I also need to realize how great my life is and can be.  I'm hoping that grace will be my inspiration and my result.

Onward!  :-)

Run Around

For as long as I can remember, I have had little or no interest in running, or jogging, or whatever you want to call it.  I grew up at a time where there were no real sports programs for girls in elementary or high school, and I am not from an athletic family.  I've always loved walking and hiking, and riding my bike.  But running was never anything I thought about much at all.

Until recently, when I decided I'd like to add it to my exercise repertoire.  I would like to be able to run short distances without feeling like I may die.  I would like to participate in some 5K races, and not only have to do the walking option, particularly when that alternative means walking very slowly, as everyone around you is doing.  I had always thought with my osteoarthritis, it wasn't the best idea anyway. But my new doctors have told me that it is worth doing, not a lot, and not for speed, but for variety as well as for another way to build the muscles around my joints.

I live close to the Schuylkill River Trail in Philadelphia, and love to walk and bike along there, any time of year.  So I have a place where I could also run that is close by, scenic, and at least as safe as anywhere else.  I also have a lovely neighborhood where I can run.  So I'm gonna give it a try.  I have even bought myself a new pair of shoes, and will be wearing them for some walking first, to be sure there won't be blisters.  I'm going to try and follow the Mayo Clinic 5K Run 7-Week training program.  I like it because it builds, and takes its time - and God knows I'm not in any big hurry like I'm getting ready to try out for the Olympics or something!

I want to start soon, but also wait until I have the sense that the extreme heat and humidity will be over for the most part at least.  It would be self-defeating for me to start when just being outside is torture for me, so it may not be immediately, but hopefully it will be soon.

In the meantime, all of my other activities and going to the gym are just fine, and I know they'll be there no matter what I decide about running.  I just think that it's time for a challenge.  Even if I don't keep up with it, I want to feel like I gave it a try.

Have a good weekend!

Not Even Close

Last year at this time, I realized that a) I had forgotten to sign up for the local Race for the Cure, and b) I couldn't even do it at the last-minute since I had made other commitments.  Not a major tragedy, but I felt bad since I try to participate every year, and it just didn't hit my radar at all.

Not the world's biggest tragedy, just something that slipped through the cracks of my brain.  But at that time, I also decided that rather than walk the 5k as I usually do, I was gonna try to be ready to run it.  However, later that month, I started having to wear a foot brace, which was originally supposed to be on my foot for six weeks, and ended up being on for five months (and didn't actually help, after all that).  So no chance to even try to start a running program.  Then I tried to make it a goal for the new year, but my months of ick in January and February not only kept me out of the gym and from any kind of exercise, but made it hard to breathe and walk at the same time.  Things are a bit better now, thank God.

I did remember to sign up to walk the race this year (albeit last-minute), so that's a good thing.  And I'm gonna say again that next year, I want to try running.  I have no plans to become A Runner, or run marathons, but I would like to have some variety in my activity, and build up my endurance levels.

In the meantime, I'll do my best this coming Sunday.  :-)

Forward Motion

I am a walker.  Big-time.  I walk nearly everywhere, mostly because - since we live in the city - it's a lot easier than waiting for the bus or the subway, and I don't know how to drive.  I do ride my bicycle, but my main mode of transport is my own two feet.

Sometimes I go for an exercise walk, and sometimes I head to the gym for exercise.  But in any event, I tend to wear out my shoes pretty quickly.  And with various foot problems, I have learned that it is worth it to invest in a good pair of shoes for exercise.  

Lately, though, I've been wanting to try a little bit of running.  I have no plan to become a marathon runner, or someone who runs above all else, but I am itching to add something a little bit different to my activities.  If nothing else, at this time next year, I'd like to be doing the Komen Race for the Cure running instead of walking.  Mostly, just to see if I can.  

Having thought about this and deciding to give it all a try, I stopped in last week at Philadelphia Runner, a store in the city devoted to running shoes, apparel, and other equipment.  A really nice young man waited on me, and he pulled out three different pairs of shoes to try, that would be good for both running and walking, as well as a set of Superfeet insoles.  At the time, I told him that I wouldn't be able to actually make a purchase until payday on the 30th, but he was nice enough to give me 100% of his assistance anyway.  Of the three pairs I tried, two were especially comfortable, and according to him, were very well-made, and not likely to wear out as quickly as the typical walking/running shoe.  

And of course, since there were two pairs that were possibilities, it was just as well that I wasn't having to decide right then between them.  Decisions such as that can cause me such agony, it's not even funny - especially for anyone trying to help me, or even just accompanying me.  But a couple of days ago, I made my decision - and in the end, it was because I liked this wild color of the New Balance W1080V3:

For someone who is used to mostly white walking shoes, or dark gray trail shoes, these are truly adventurous!

I just hope they make me adventurous enough to actually try running, and to be able to run the 5K next May ...

Here and Now

I felt terribly sad this week when I heard the news that Valerie Harper had an incurable brain tumor and probably only had about three months more to live.  I had always loved the character of Rhoda Morgenstern from "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and then later from her own show.  Rhoda was someone I wanted to be friends with - pretty, funny, smart, and lots of fun.  Even though I was a teenager when we first "met" I felt like she was a friend.  So learning of her illness was a shock.

Since hearing about it, I've read things about Valerie Harper that say she is determined to enjoy her life NOW.  Because she has learned the hardest way possible that living in the present should be the most important thing.

This is always hard for me to do.  Without consciously realizing it, I'm always making plans for "when I ..." or "as soon as ..."  When I do realize I'm doing this, I always get annoyed with myself.  I tell myself that there is no reality in living my life only in the future, because there are no guarantees.  And I don't even  mean as far as still being alive goes - rather, I may never save enough money to do X, or lose enough weight to buy/wear X, etc.  I like having goals, because I do better with some kind of structure to things, and having goals gives me something to work towards.  But when the goal takes over, you miss everything happening right in front of you that day, hour, moment, etc.  And that's sad, because you're right there, and not paying attention!

For a good part of my adult life, I've battled depression.  Sometimes, just a slight amount, but often debilitating.  Then I spent a LOT of time, thinking that "when I feel better ..." but one day it did occur to me that I needed to work on feeling better THEN and that it would mean I could/would do the things I was always wishing I could do.  And it's still hard for me to remember.  But if on any given day, I can remind myself that I am still here, still [relatively] healthy, with someplace to live, enough to eat, a great family, a job I like most of the time - well, you get the drift - then I can feel like I'm paying attention to the here and now.  So many people have bigger problems, and they manage to get through the day and maybe even be happy.  Maybe because getting through the day makes them realize they are alive, they can do it, they have LIFE.

And so, Valerie Harper's sad news reminds me once again to LIVE my life NOW, and appreciate that I can.  I know I'll feel terrible when she dies, but I hope that I - and others, especially her own family - can take some comfort in knowing that when she could enjoy her life, she still did.  Because, even if she learned the lesson the hard way, it is always a lesson worth learning.

No More Slogging

I managed to get through February without getting sick.  Granted, I spent the month still dealing with respiratory and energy issues from being so sick in January, but at least none of it got worse.  I did lose my two pounds - though again, not from any real effort on my part, but because I didn't feel that great most of the time to want to eat.  I got a few small things accomplished, so even though the progress is painfully slow, it's still there.

March offers new opportunities, as well as being the month when winter becomes springtime - at least according to the calendar.  Personally, I love March because besides my own birthday, there's a lot of other fun stuff that happens.  And this year, on the very last day, we even have Easter!

So, what am I hoping March will be for me?  Well, I really hope I can feel better enough to stop slogging through my life for one thing.  I plan to try really hard to get back to physical activity, even if at first my respiratory issues can make my endurance low.  But since in theory the weather will be improving, even just something like a walk or bicycle ride can happen, and I know myself well enough to know that I shouldn't overdo it when I have the chance to start again.

I'm still hoping to lose another two pounds, and now I have extra motivation, since one of my nieces is getting married in June, and I'd like to show up looking healthy.  I also want to continue on some organization projects around the house.  If/when the weather starts to cooperate, I also want to clean up outside in our garden.  I'd love it if I could plant some flowers and get it looking nice again, so we could sit outside as much as we used to.

Of course, in a perfect world, I could accomplish everything and then more, but I'm perfectly content to do what I can and keep going.  It's not a race, and as long as I remember that, I'll be just fine.

Happy March!

Keeping Up with Myself

We are now a whole week into February, and a lot of the country is either covered by a snowstorm, or about to be.  Not Philadelphia, though.  We are getting rain, will maybe get 2 inches of snow according to the local weather people.  Unlike most people, I love snow, and am totally sick of these wimpy winters.

But I digress.

Remember back in January, I mentioned that I was hoping to lose 2 pounds a month to get back to a healthier weight?  Well, I accomplished that and then some, but not due to any conscientious efforts on my part.  Nope, it was from being sick.  When you don't feel like eating for a week, you tend to lose weight.  Anyway, my appetite is still not great, but that's OK, it's not like I'm in a contest or anything.

So for February, I am hoping to lose another 2 pounds, and that I will get enough of my energy back to return to the gym.  I'm also hoping that I can get some more things organized as well.  Granted, I could spend the rest of my life cleaning closets, the basement, etc., but as with my weight loss, I'm hoping to accomplish things via baby steps.  First up will be my closet.  Since before Christmas, I've just been stuffing things in there for a lack of anyplace else to put them.  It's gotten pretty bad, so that will be my first organizing project.

Also, I owe people thank-you notes for Christmas gifts, and I don't want to get any later sending them than I already am.  So that's another February goal.

And hopefully, getting sick won't be part of the February experience.

:-)

A Couple of Intentions

You may recall that I mentioned a couple of posts ago that last year, I toyed with the idea of "intentions" rather than resolutions for New Year's.  I've been sick since the day before New Year's Eve, so I haven't spent a lot of time on thinking about it, but there are a some of things I already know I want to try.

First, I was reading a blog the other day (God forbid I remember which one), where the blogger said that she was in fact making resolutions, but only a month at a time, and her January resolution was to lose weight, and declutter her closet.  That got me to thinking, and I recalled that when I first started this blog, I vowed to take baby steps to reach my health and fitness goals, so that - theoretically at least - they would be more manageable.  It all worked pretty well, so I want to try that.  So one of my intentions for this year is to try and lose 2 pounds a month - and preferably, not the same 2 pounds each time!  This strikes me as a reasonable, doable, intention.

Then today, I was thinking that when I feel better (oh please let it be soon!), I should try to plan ahead with meals a little bit better.  I eat the same thing for breakfast every morning - oatmeal with raisins, cinnamon, and sometimes slivered almonds, along with a side of fruit if at all possible in the cold months; cold cereal with a side of fruit the rest of the year - so breakfast is not really an issue.  Cooking dinner is something I share with my husband (he cooks one night, I cook the next), so I want to try and fix one dish at least twice a month ahead for the next week during January.

Then there is lunch.  I usually take my lunch, since a) I don't want to go broke, and 2) deciding what I want can take the better part of my lunch hour.  But as much as I wish it were, it's usually not anything I think too far ahead about.  PB&J is a favorite, but sometimes I just want something different.  So my other intention for January is to plan my lunches, and where possible, fix the ingredients ahead of time.  Even if it's just a list that says something like:  Monday - PB&J.  Tuesday - cheese and crackers.  Wednesday - soup.  You get the picture.

This seems as if it could actually work.  But at least if it becomes undoable/a failure/whatever, I can re-think things for February.

I'll keep you posted.  :-)