Invisible

I can't decide if I'm well-adjusted (which I sincerely doubt) or just not activist enough.  Because 99% of the time, I'm OK with being invisible.

You may think, "Well, OK, but I have no idea what you are talking about."  Frankly, that's what I would be expecting you to say.  So let me explain.

I have a friend in the cyberverse who is a year older than I am, and is a fashion blogger.  She posts her outfits and makeup choices every day, and she also has a YouTube channel where she discusses beauty, fashion, life, etc. from the viewpoint of what she calls a "mature" woman (she just turned 63).  She is attractive, seems like a lot of fun, and also has a good sense of style - you know, a person who can put things together and they look fashionable (whereas, I put things on and they are clothes).  I enjoy her blog and her podcasts, but I am pretty sure that if we met in real life, we would not be good friends.

Why?

Because she is an activist when it comes to wanting advertisers and society in general to embrace older women, and the "pro-aging" movement.  She writes to companies all of the time telling them to use someone other than 20-year-old stick models in their advertisements; she asks them to design with the older woman in mind; and she will cancel any magazine subscription where they do not feature any mature women, or use the term "anti-aging."  (She must have a lot of magazine subscriptions, since she has cancelled at least 5 during the time I've known her.)

I get her point.  I really do.  And I will admit that when I see someone who is clearly out of their twenties in an advertisement (print or otherwise), I think it's great.  I do wish that it was easier to find clothes that don't make me look as if I want to relive my teens or twenties (once was more than enough, thank you!), so I can appreciate that part.

But you know what?  I really don't care, in the grand scheme of things.  Even as a teenager and young adult, it seriously never ever occurred to me that women in magazines or on TV were supposed to look like me, or anyone that I knew.  I figured they were out of the norm of my experience because that was their job.  I didn't care about how thin they were/were not, because they didn't look like anyone I ever saw around anyway.  I might think, "Oh that's a nice dress," or like their lipstick or whatever, but NEVER did I get the message that that is how I was supposed to look.  I'm not exactly sure why, but really and truly it just never occurred to me.  Probably because I was a pretty weird kid, but even as a young adult I never expected it.

Then I got older.  And the first time it occurred to me that I was actually "invisible" was when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and had a mastectomy.  It became clear to me that because I was older (late 40s) and had no children, it didn't "matter" as much.  If the worst happened, I wouldn't leave half-orphaned children and/or grandchildren  behind, and since I was the age I was, it's not like I should worry about whether or not I looked that good afterwards.  I will admit that this was extremely frustrating, but again, I always just figured it was others' problem, not mine.

So do I care about my appearance?  Yes, of course. I try to look the best I can, when I can.  I keep active so I can enjoy my life more and be healthier, and live longer to be with friends and family.  I enjoy dressing up on occasion, and I do wear makeup and [attempt to] fix my hair.  I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin, and have been for most of my life.  And though I would like the world to do things my way, it doesn't.  I don't mind being invisible for the most part.

I don't think I have to look like her:

any more than I think I *should* look like her:

but I also hope I don't look like her:

What about you?  Are you an activist like my cyber-friend?  Or like me, who can understand and appreciate her position on things, but can't be bothered to get worked up over it?

Product Review - OleHenriksen Truth Serum

I have suffered from rosacea for years.  Finally when we moved to Philadelphia many years ago, I found a dermatologist who diagnosed it and actually knew how it could be treated.  It took a while, but finally it's under control better than it's ever been.

Needless to say, I'm kind of obsessed with taking care of my skin now that it doesn't constantly look like it's scalded.  I see my dermatologist regularly, and she is really great.  One thing she isn't, is big on recommending products that are popular in magazines or that the "beautiful people" are using.  I've asked specifically from time to time if a certain moisturizer or soap or whatever that I read about in a magazine is worth using.  Her answer has nearly always been, "try it if you like," but that's all.

So when she actually mentioned something by name, I thought it was worth a try.  And then I decided it was only fair to let you know how it did or did not work.

The product is OleHenriksen Truth Serum (available in store and online at Sephora and several other places, as well as directly from the company).

This is what it I'm talking about.  The pump at the top dispenses a non-sticky, slightly orange-scented liquid that spreads easily.  The scent disappears almost immediately, and it absorbs quickly, but still feels like your skin - not like some products that make you feel like there's a weird layer there.

I bought a small bottle to try, because a) it's not inexpensive (though you can order a mini online for $15), and b) I wasn't sure if I would like it.  I have used it now for approximately 6 months, at night only with my moisturizer over it, and I can tell you, this stuff is fantastic!  It makes my skin feel very soft, and I have had no bad reactions or problems from use, while noticing that it seems to have given my skin some evenness, which is nice since I tend to be splotchy.

I think that technically, you are supposed to use it morning and night, but frankly, I didn't want to use it up very quickly since, as mentioned above, it's not cheap.  Plus, since it has Vitamin C in it, I figured it would be better to use it at night only instead of having to use an even higher SPF sunscreen during the day.  

Another thing I like about it is that one of the small bottles lasts a good long time.  One pump gives you *plenty* of product for your face - on the occasion that I have used two pumps, I've been able to cover my neck and chest as well.  This of course also makes it a winner on the BMST* and means that I am very likely to buy it again whenever this bottle is finished.   And if that isn't good enough, OleHenriksen is a cruelty-free company!

So if you have rosacea, or even if you don't, but want to try something that is a little bit of an extra for your face, I can highly recommend this product.  And this is me being honest, I didn't get any reimbursement from the company that makes it.  I just wanted to share something that I thought was impressed with, especially if you are looking for some great skincare.  

*BMST (Bridget's Mathematical Spending Theorem):  the name given by a friend of mine to something I do with skincare, beauty products, makeup, etc.  When I start to use it, I mark the date on the container.  When it's gone, I note the date, and figure out the cost per use.  This plays a part in whether or not I decided to purchase it again.