21 February 2018

Watch What You Say, No Matter What You Say, Because You Will Be Wrong Always

Hi there - Yes, I'm still alive. I didn't mean to be gone for so long, I have just had some stuff going on that has made me busy and/or crazy. 

So What the F. Murray Abraham does the title of this post mean?  Well, it was just my snarky way of saying that these days, everyone but yourself knows better for you, no matter what you may think.  And why did this even come up?

A woman who is a meteorologist on a local TV station had a baby about 6 months ago or so.  She posted on Facebook today that she was having a harder time losing weight than she did with her first two kids, probably because now she was older, and also admitted she was not as active.  She said that she wanted to try and lose weight so she would feel better and be able to wear the clothes she has and not have go buy all new ones.  She was hoping that others would join her to get healthy.

Thing she did NOT say:

- she was planning to starve herself
- she was planning to ignore her family
- she hoping to lose more than her current body weight
- she was an overweight pig and hated herself
- she wanted to look 20 years old again

And yet, the comments almost all interpreted her post that way, and everyone explained to her that a) she was beautiful, not to change a thing; b) she should just enjoy her family; c) she should eat whatever she wanted to all the time; d) she shouldn't exercise because it would mean she was buying into the fact that everyone should be thin; e) she was setting a bad example for young girls by telling them they needed to be thin; f) she would definitely end up with an eating disorder.

Oy.  Here was someone who was just saying she wanted to improve her health and stamina, and feel better overall, and immediately it was just WRONG.  So many people had to man/woman/stranger-splain to her what she really SHOULD do because of course they all knew better. 

I really think that in a lot of ways, we are going too far the other way with things.  If she had said, "I think I'm ugly and everyone hates me, but I would be universally loved if I only weight 98 pounds," then maybe she would be showing that she was having problems.  And though it would be concerning, it is still none of the public's business to INFORM her that she was just wrong, wrong, wrong. 

But she didn't say any of that.  She clearly said she wanted to be healthier, and wanted to feel better.  She wanted others to decide for themselves if they wanted to join her.  Personally, I thought it was a good thing, because she was admitting that even though she was on TV she wasn't perfect and that she thought it would be encouraging for others to join her.  Instead, people were up in arms.

I think it's terrible when people feel they must be a certain weight or size to be worth anything.  And I absolutely do not think it's anyone else's business (except possibly a health care provider) to tell anyone else that they have to lose weight or be a certain way. 

But I also think it's just as bad when people assume that anyone wanting to feel better, be more active, or improve their health is doing it for all the wrong reasons.

You may say, well, what did she expect when she posted it on Facebook.  To be honest, I think she thought she might have been able get some people to join her in getting into shape.  And perhaps she will as she continues to post about her progress or lack thereof.  I hope it works for her, and for those people. 

But I also wish that everyone else would just SHUT. UP.

Aren't you glad I'm back?  ;-)


Anonymous said...

This is EXACTLY why I don't read the comments sections on those type of posts (or really ANY post that isn't from a friend). People really just need to either be supportive or mind their own damn business.

P.S. I thought she looked pretty good already.

Jean M. said...

I'm glad you're back! And why does everyone have to give their opinions when they weren't asked? And be negative all of the time. Everybody, just chill!

Tired Teacher said...

I couldn't agree more. Like Dee, I seldom read comments because commenters seem to lack personal filters and tend to stir up controversy when there was no reason for it.