20 July 2016

Women vs. Women vs. Men

Let me say from the get-go that I am an equal opportunity mocker, criticizer, etc.  I am more than happy to do any/all of those to people of all genders, races, and religions.  Once, when I was sitting with The Tim watching something on TV, I said, "You know what I really hate?" and he responded, "Besides everyone and everything?" and I had to admit he had a point.

So I've never completely bought into the idea that women should never criticize other women.  For example, a few years back, when Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were hosting the Golden Globes, they made a joke about Taylor Swift.  Swift responded by saying that women shouldn't criticize other women, because it's just wrong, blah blah blah.  This kind of thing makes me stabby.  First of all, it was a joke, second of all, it referenced Taylor Swift's many boyfriends and breakups (and it was funny), and third of all, I cannot stand Taylor Swift and it annoys the heck out of me that I know too much about her anyway.

In real life, where I do my best to mind my manners and live in a civil society, I try very hard to not criticize anyone just because I can.  And 99% of the time, it all happens in my brain, and though I feel better, no one gets hurt.  And also 99% of the time, it's stupid criticism, along the lines of, "Why is the person walking in front of me [on my way to work usually] wearing clothes that are too tight?  It looks awful."  But - a) in my head, and b) none of my business anyway.

That is just criticism for the sake of being a pain in the posterior region of the body, and though I excel at it, at heart I am truly sensitive, and try to never, ever actually criticize someone to their face in a way I know would hurt me.  Heck, even constructive criticism can hurt, even when you agree with what someone is saying.

But I do believe that women in general get more criticism and rude remarks than men do, and I have to say, that this election cycle is sadly showing that is the case.  Politics aside (and I know that can be hard to do), it shouldn't matter if someone's wife does not have a good stylist, or if a woman running for President is "old" and "dowdy."  It also means that someone who is stylish should not be judged only by that, regardless of how smart or ditzy or intelligent they may be.

So I am getting really frustrated with men calling Hillary Clinton a "witch" or "ugly" or "in need of plastic surgery."  But just as frustrating are so many of the "women-shouldn't-criticize-other-women" people I know, making remarks about Melania Trump's appearance or her accent.  Because if you are so firmly in the above camp, it should apply to every woman, not just the ones you may like or approve of.

Have I laughed at the memes about Mrs. Trump's speech including parts of Mrs. Obama's speech from a previous convention?  You bet I have.  I've also laughed at some of the memes about Hillary Clinton if they were just funny, stupid memes, and not about her appearance.  (Again, equal opportunity - see first paragraph.)

Why is it always open season on women's appearances and personalities, but only about important things and issues with men? (Rhetorical question, I know the answer.)  

Granted, being in the public eye means that you have given up a lot of your privacy.  And I will admit that as much as anyone else, I pay attention to how people look.  Heck, one of my favorite websites is Go Fug Yourself, where they take mockery and commentary to a whole 'nother level - but generally in the realm of fashion and Hollywood, and never in a personal attack kind of way.  

Do I wish people always looked nice?  Yep.  Do I always look nice? Um ... yep? (NO.)  Do I want someone who looks nice to be President?  Yep.  But in the end, wouldn't I rather have someone who is smart?

YOU BET.

But mostly, I wish I could vote for Larry the Cat.

3 comments:

Dee said...

Sadly, Larry cannot run. His birth certificate CLEARLY shows that he was born in London.

But, DAMN! That is one good looking cat!

Mereknits said...

I so agree with you, how come men get so mean and nasty about a woman's appearance, I know it is to deflect from her actual intellect and qualification, but still it is so wrong. Did you see that news article about that stupid playboy bunny taking a photo of a woman in the dressing room of a work out facility and being so nasty, that should not be allowed and that poor woman was just tying to get in shape. Women are judged on a whole different level by men and also pathetically by women.
Meredith

Anna of the Mutton Years said...

On the other hand I've been thinking Mrs T May is a force to be reckoned with but Mr Him thinks she needs to change her hair. Oh, case in point, man critises looks!