And not just amazing, but a discovery about myself!
A couple of nights ago, I went into the bathroom to wash my face before putting on my pajamas. I looked in the mirror, and realized that I do look different. In that, I look older. This is because - well, I am older! But though I look in the mirror a bazillion times in any given week, this was the first time in a long time I really thought about what I saw or whose face it was. I won't lie, I was a little surprised.
I still have rosacea. It's under control pretty well, thanks to my amazing dermatologist and effort on my part.
I still have freckles, though they are not as noticeable as they used to be.
I have creases on my forehead, and between my eyes at the top of my nose. Partly I'm sure due to aging, but also because I do have a tendency to frown or furrow my brow when I'm thinking hard or trying to figure something out. Or when I'm annoyed (read: frequently!).
My skin is in really good shape. This was not always the case. Between the rosacea, sunburns as a child, and teenage acne, my skin used to be in pretty sad shape. But now, it's actually healthy-looking, if not perfect. I'll take it.
My eyebrows are thinning. They were never that full or dark, anyway.
I have some crows' feet, and some undereye bags, and some plain old wrinkles. Not terrible, but there nonetheless.
But you know what the most amazing discovery was? I realized that it was all OK with me. I think because my skin is in better shape now than it ever was, any flaws or signs that I am no longer a kid are just not a big deal. Yes, I use face and eye products that I feel give me the best result for what I am paying, but except for sunscreen, I could give them up if I had to. And I wear makeup, both because I think it's fun and because it evens out my skin tone, but I don't wear a lot of makeup - and there are days when, if I'm just hanging out at home, or not really going anywhere, I don't bother with makeup at all.
I'm OK with my face, and with the signs of age that you can see on it. I think I look good, and not haggard and worn (though some days I feel that way). I cannot imagine a scenario where I would get something like Botox, or get any kind of surgery. Mostly because I am not that worried about it, and prefer not to have someone putting needles or anything that cuts in, on, or near my face.
I'm getting older. I look like I'm getting older. It really truly is OK with me, because I still look like myself to me. This was an unexpected and comforting discovery. But definitely a good one.