The New World Order Is Making Me Stabby

Well, things have certainly gotten off to a depressing start this year, no?  Between The Orange One and his ilk trying to shut down the Constitution, and me gimping around on crutches, it's been hard to be Little Mary Sunshine.  Not that I ever am Little Mary Sunshine, but it must be really hard for those who are.

I am proud as can be of my family, they all participated in the Women's March, and those in Baltimore attended the marches this weekend in support of allowing refugees into the country.  We are a committed group, I have to say, and that makes me both happy and proud.  We are also a loud group, so I'm glad we can use our loudness for good.

I don't understand why refugees are the enemy.  From what I know, those who would do us harm are seldom interested in entering the country legally, and our vetting process for immigrants is already very intensive.  And frankly, some of the scariest people in the world to me are white Americans, and they always have been.  And I say that as a white American!  I mean, look at the Sandy Hook shootings if you need an example.  And yes, I know he was mentally ill, etc., but nonetheless he was a white American with access to guns.  Ugh.

Wow, Bridget, tell us how you really feel ...

Anyway, as mentioned above, I am gimping around on crutches these days, going into my third week.  I have a broken ankle, and frankly it sucks, though I am grateful I can get around at all, and that it wasn't worse.  As I was walking home from work a few weeks ago, one of the construction workers at the site of the 534th Comcast Center bumped into me, and I turned my ankle.  At the time I didn't think it was a big deal.  But the next morning it was really swollen and extremely sore, so I stopped at Urgent Care and x-rays showed it was broken.  I have never ever broken a bone in my life, so this is all terra incognita to me.  I remember in elementary school, there were a few kids who always seemed to have broken arms or legs, but maybe because I spent most of my time reading instead of running around or skiiing or whatever, I missed that childhood experience.  I daresay it's probably easier to deal with when you are a kid.  Oh well.

Fortunately, The Tim is willing to do the cooking, laundry, etc.  Though I do wish he did not feel the need to bleach everything, but that's nothing new.  I know he's not thrilled about it, but to his credit, he hasn't been whining.  However, I know that when you are used to a certain routine - particularly on mornings when you need to get to work on time - having that changed in a major way is disconcerting at best.

I am knitting, reading, and anything else I can do to both keep myself busy and also keep myself sane.  We have some movies and TV shows recorded to watch, so when we are both at home, that is a good distraction as well.  This past weekend, I managed to make it to get my hair cut, which improved my mood immensely (not to mention my appearance!), and also meant that this morning, I didn't have to spend valuable minutes getting ready for work trying to get it to look at least OK.

So, as you can see, things are pretty quiet in everyday life around here.  But I'm watching, and have no plans to sit back and say nothing whether I'm on crutches, or once I can get around on my own.

The High Road

Today is monumental in my mind.  It is the last day we will be living in the U.S. with a decent, honorable, and respectable person as our president.  Beyond incredibly sad, I also feel worried, frustrated, annoyed, and just plain old disappointed.

Now don't get me wrong.  I'm not going to go quietly into the next four years, or just sit and home and feel sorry for myself.  The same things that have always been important to me will be, even more so if possible, and I will continue to act when I feel it is necessary.  But everything is going to be different, and I'm not convinced it will be OK or better.

I have been doing my best to try and remain level-headed and civil around others who feel that the ascendancy of the Orange One will be a wonderful thing for our country.  It's been difficult, but I do believe in manners, civility, and human discourse.  Likely they will not change my mind any more than I will change theirs, but if we can not devolve into fisticuffs, we will all have our say.

That's the problem with The High Road, at least for me, and it always has been that way.  As a child, I had a really violent, hair-trigger temper that I could not control.**  At all.  No one else in my family is wired that way, and I think I was a constant worry to my parents and often made them fearful.  For as long as I can remember, my parents would try to instill in me that even if I got angry and lost my temper, that I should try my best to apologize.  I used to ask my mother, "Why do I have to apologize, and the other person never does?" and her answer was always, "Because it takes a bigger person, a better person, to admit that they were wrong.  I want you to understand that, and to take the high road whenever you can."

And I get it. Really and truly, I do.  And at least in my heart, I do want to be the bigger person, the better person, even if it's not for the most noble of reasons.  I think it's worthwhile to always try and be that person.

But why do I always have to do it, and the others don't?  Why is the double standard OK?  Why did I *always* have to apologize to my brat of a cousin Billy when I'd called him a name or punched him (I was not above physical confrontation), but he never ever ever had to say "I'm sorry" for anything?  I mean, he was usually the one who started the problem in the first place!  (His mother always claimed he couldn't help what he did/said, because he was "sick."  Even as a young kid, I'd respond to my mother, "Oh, he's sick alright.")  He knew that he had a pass on his behaviour.  So why act differently?

Fast forward to our current situation.  We are being told to "just get over it" with our concerns about our new leader, new Cabinet, new everything.  We are sore losers when we express a different opinion.  We are the ones who are criticized for criticizing, even if it is done in a peaceful and respectful way.

All of the members of  Congress who skipped Obama's inauguration?  That's different than the disrespect being shown this time around, when others are saying they will not attend tomorrow's event.  Blocking judicial and other appointments made by Obama?  That's not the same thing as the HORRIBLE shade being thrown at some of the new Cabinet nominees, by calling them "unqualified."  It was the same during the Reagan years, the Bush years, the Clinton years, and I'm sure probably since the Caesar years.

I support The High Road.  I don't think anyone should confuse it with becoming a doormat, and I do believe there is value in the saying and the practice of, "Whey they go low, we go high."

But boy, do I wish The High Road was a two-way street.

NOTE: I know I'm likely preaching to the choir here, but it felt good to get that off my chest.  I hope that for all of you, tomorrow and the coming weekend will be filled with meaningful and peaceful activities that will allow you to cling to your soul.  We're all going to need that moving forward.


**I do a better job now.  Most of the time.  Especially the physical confrontation part ...

Women vs. Women vs. Men

Let me say from the get-go that I am an equal opportunity mocker, criticizer, etc.  I am more than happy to do any/all of those to people of all genders, races, and religions.  Once, when I was sitting with The Tim watching something on TV, I said, "You know what I really hate?" and he responded, "Besides everyone and everything?" and I had to admit he had a point.

So I've never completely bought into the idea that women should never criticize other women.  For example, a few years back, when Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were hosting the Golden Globes, they made a joke about Taylor Swift.  Swift responded by saying that women shouldn't criticize other women, because it's just wrong, blah blah blah.  This kind of thing makes me stabby.  First of all, it was a joke, second of all, it referenced Taylor Swift's many boyfriends and breakups (and it was funny), and third of all, I cannot stand Taylor Swift and it annoys the heck out of me that I know too much about her anyway.

In real life, where I do my best to mind my manners and live in a civil society, I try very hard to not criticize anyone just because I can.  And 99% of the time, it all happens in my brain, and though I feel better, no one gets hurt.  And also 99% of the time, it's stupid criticism, along the lines of, "Why is the person walking in front of me [on my way to work usually] wearing clothes that are too tight?  It looks awful."  But - a) in my head, and b) none of my business anyway.

That is just criticism for the sake of being a pain in the posterior region of the body, and though I excel at it, at heart I am truly sensitive, and try to never, ever actually criticize someone to their face in a way I know would hurt me.  Heck, even constructive criticism can hurt, even when you agree with what someone is saying.

But I do believe that women in general get more criticism and rude remarks than men do, and I have to say, that this election cycle is sadly showing that is the case.  Politics aside (and I know that can be hard to do), it shouldn't matter if someone's wife does not have a good stylist, or if a woman running for President is "old" and "dowdy."  It also means that someone who is stylish should not be judged only by that, regardless of how smart or ditzy or intelligent they may be.

So I am getting really frustrated with men calling Hillary Clinton a "witch" or "ugly" or "in need of plastic surgery."  But just as frustrating are so many of the "women-shouldn't-criticize-other-women" people I know, making remarks about Melania Trump's appearance or her accent.  Because if you are so firmly in the above camp, it should apply to every woman, not just the ones you may like or approve of.

Have I laughed at the memes about Mrs. Trump's speech including parts of Mrs. Obama's speech from a previous convention?  You bet I have.  I've also laughed at some of the memes about Hillary Clinton if they were just funny, stupid memes, and not about her appearance.  (Again, equal opportunity - see first paragraph.)

Why is it always open season on women's appearances and personalities, but only about important things and issues with men? (Rhetorical question, I know the answer.)  

Granted, being in the public eye means that you have given up a lot of your privacy.  And I will admit that as much as anyone else, I pay attention to how people look.  Heck, one of my favorite websites is Go Fug Yourself, where they take mockery and commentary to a whole 'nother level - but generally in the realm of fashion and Hollywood, and never in a personal attack kind of way.  

Do I wish people always looked nice?  Yep.  Do I always look nice? Um ... yep? (NO.)  Do I want someone who looks nice to be President?  Yep.  But in the end, wouldn't I rather have someone who is smart?

YOU BET.

But mostly, I wish I could vote for Larry the Cat.