I have been thinking a lot lately about the topic of body image. Probably because lately I have also been thinking a lot about my body. Some thoughts that are mine are below, and I am not claiming to have the answer, or be perfect. But I just felt like telling you - of course, that does not mean you even have to read any more of this, but if you do, please know that I do not mean to sound superior, OK?
For as long as I can remember, I have been out of the loop, so to speak, on this topic. I was fortunate as a kid and then again as a teenager to never, ever have my mother say anything about whether I was fat, skinny, tall, short, whatever. I also am not aware of her ever saying anything like that about my sisters either. Don't get me wrong, it's not like she was above saying, "Wow, So-and-So looks like she gained weight," or similar, but it was not something she was always talking about.
Now of course, I was surrounded by other people and their parents who seemed obsessed with weight, appearance, boyfriends, etc. And who longed to look like certain movie stars or models. Mostly I thought they were kind of stupid.
It really and truly never, ever, occurred to me that I was *supposed* to look anything like women in fashion magazines. Oh, I would wish I had some of the clothes or shoes, and often I wished I had the hair/hairstyle, but I can truly say that I never saw those women as having anything directly to do with me or how I looked. And it's not like I was super well-adjusted - trust me, I had (and still have) PLENTY of my own issues!
As an adult, it's definitely been a good thing that I have never been obsessed with body image. I've certainly been on the cusp of overweight on more than one occasion, and I've also wished plenty of times that I could fit into last year's slacks or jeans. I've been dismayed when I couldn't, and had to buy new ones in a larger size. However, I've lived through this without a feeling of shame or devastation.
This has served me well, after several major surgeries. My body is now a series of scars that look like a road map for medical students who have wanted to practice doing surgery! Things are messy, misshapen, not the same size, and even puffy. I always tell The Tim that I have no plans to donate my body to science, since at this point, science already has most of it!
Though I'm not in any way sure that it was a conscious action on the part of my parents, I am grateful that my growing up focused on things other than appearance. I've never thought I am ravishingly beautiful, but then again, I've never been convinced that I am ugly. Likewise, I've never worried about being "fat" or what size my clothes happened to be - particularly in relationship to anyone else.
I wish more people could feel this way. I am not convinced that it's fashion magazines and advertising that are completely to blame for our society's obsession with looks, weight, etc. I think it was a problem long before Vogue put super-thin supermodels on the cover, or before Kate Moss and/or others were forced on us as the epitome of beautiful women. For anyone feeling self-conscious about themselves already, or who thinks that what others say about them is the most important thing, I think life must be a series of miserable days, and I wish that they were able to move beyond it. I'm sure that the barrage of images and messages about body image needing to be a certain way doesn't help.
I don't know that there is an easy answer. I think that the fault lies within ourselves, and until *we* let it all go, we're gonna keep passing it on to the next generation. That is what bothers me. When I think of the mothers of my friends who would tell them not to eat dessert so they wouldn't get fat, or the girls at school who would call others fat, or ugly, or whatever, I am amazed that so many years later, it still happens. All the time.
If you think of it, and ever find yourself doing it, please stop. None of us need that kind of criticism and pressure. We all need a break.
Showing posts with label meals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meals. Show all posts
17 September 2014
23 April 2014
Shape, Age, Health, Food
Last week, I read this blog post, and it really made me think. The blog is one that I read regularly, and like most blogs (about anything) that I read, sometimes it "speaks" to me more than others. The particular post I'm linking to was one that I thought made a lot of good points, and was accessible to most people.
I was not necessarily the world's most well-adjusted kid, but I have to tell you, it never, ever, EVER occurred to me as a tween, teenager, or a young adult that I was somehow *supposed* to look like models or celebrities in magazines. I would maybe like what they were wearing, or their hair and makeup, etc., but I truly never felt inadequate because of my body. So although I can intellectually understand that it can be/is a problem for women of all ages today, I can't really relate to the whole issue.
As I got older, and became responsible for feeding, dressing, and being completely in charge of myself, my biggest desire was to be healthy and fit. It didn't necessarily translate into me treating my body as the temple that health fanatics do, but it made me more aware that my overall health and fitness was my own responsibility. I have been fortunate to be a person who is comfortable in my own skin.
So anyway, back to the post mentioned at the beginning of this post. She points out that genetics and privilege make a difference. Unlike the writer's mother, my mother was not one who made sure that we always had whole grain breads, and fresh vegetables. We always had some kind of fruit, and there was always milk in the refrigerator, but my "deprivations" growing up were a result of my parents' coming of age when having convenience foods was such a wonderful luxury, that opening a can of vegetables, or cooking frozen foods were desirable ways to feed your family. The other reason was budgetary. We didn't have money for much, and although we were fortunate to always have something to eat, many of our meals would likely make people today gasp in horror. Milk was rationed to one glass for each of us a day, since it was seen as necessary but not easily affordable.
Having said that, I thought a lot of the points raised in the aforementioned blog post were worth stating. We all need food to survive, but in today's world, food and your individual relationship to it is such a sensitive subject that it can be hard to do what really works well for YOU and not feel that somehow you are wrong. My relationship with food, exercise, and just life in general has been an ever-changing one, and I've always been fortunate because there has never been pressure from anyone who mattered to me to be any different than I am.
So yes, I directed you to one person's way of doing things, and talking about it, and it may not have any relevance to anything about your existence. But when I read it, I really started thinking about ways that I try to "maintain my shape" and why I do what I do. In my case, I have had so many health problems that were beyond my control, I want to do my best to be conscientious about the things I can control.
Just like in clothing, one size does not fit all. It never will, and never should.
I do firmly believe though, that YOUR one size/shape/activity level should always work for you, and make you a happier and healthier person. I hope by reading this post, as well as the one that started me on this topic, you will be able to feel good about yourself, and decide what you want to try for your health. I truly believe that if you feel good, you look good, no matter how old you are.
I was not necessarily the world's most well-adjusted kid, but I have to tell you, it never, ever, EVER occurred to me as a tween, teenager, or a young adult that I was somehow *supposed* to look like models or celebrities in magazines. I would maybe like what they were wearing, or their hair and makeup, etc., but I truly never felt inadequate because of my body. So although I can intellectually understand that it can be/is a problem for women of all ages today, I can't really relate to the whole issue.
As I got older, and became responsible for feeding, dressing, and being completely in charge of myself, my biggest desire was to be healthy and fit. It didn't necessarily translate into me treating my body as the temple that health fanatics do, but it made me more aware that my overall health and fitness was my own responsibility. I have been fortunate to be a person who is comfortable in my own skin.
So anyway, back to the post mentioned at the beginning of this post. She points out that genetics and privilege make a difference. Unlike the writer's mother, my mother was not one who made sure that we always had whole grain breads, and fresh vegetables. We always had some kind of fruit, and there was always milk in the refrigerator, but my "deprivations" growing up were a result of my parents' coming of age when having convenience foods was such a wonderful luxury, that opening a can of vegetables, or cooking frozen foods were desirable ways to feed your family. The other reason was budgetary. We didn't have money for much, and although we were fortunate to always have something to eat, many of our meals would likely make people today gasp in horror. Milk was rationed to one glass for each of us a day, since it was seen as necessary but not easily affordable.
Having said that, I thought a lot of the points raised in the aforementioned blog post were worth stating. We all need food to survive, but in today's world, food and your individual relationship to it is such a sensitive subject that it can be hard to do what really works well for YOU and not feel that somehow you are wrong. My relationship with food, exercise, and just life in general has been an ever-changing one, and I've always been fortunate because there has never been pressure from anyone who mattered to me to be any different than I am.
So yes, I directed you to one person's way of doing things, and talking about it, and it may not have any relevance to anything about your existence. But when I read it, I really started thinking about ways that I try to "maintain my shape" and why I do what I do. In my case, I have had so many health problems that were beyond my control, I want to do my best to be conscientious about the things I can control.
Just like in clothing, one size does not fit all. It never will, and never should.
I do firmly believe though, that YOUR one size/shape/activity level should always work for you, and make you a happier and healthier person. I hope by reading this post, as well as the one that started me on this topic, you will be able to feel good about yourself, and decide what you want to try for your health. I truly believe that if you feel good, you look good, no matter how old you are.
03 January 2014
Fresh Start
Last year, I had some goals for myself for the year, and though it wasn't perfect, I did OK with them. I'm hoping that I can improve on that this year.
I think I mentioned here in previous posts, that I finally realized that making New Year's resolutions just didn't work for me. Once I started to think of goals and intentions, I took a different approach, and even when I didn't exactly reach them, I didn't have the same feeling of failure as I did with failed New Year's resolutions. On the one hand, it's the terminology, but on the other hand, my goals and intentions were things that were more or less baby steps, not all-encompassing.
This year, I am going to work on the following:
1. Fitness. I didn't do as well as I'd hoped, partly because of a few illnesses that knocked me out for weeks at a time, and partly because I got lazy. I'm still more fit than I was in previous years, but this year, I'd like to be more active. So I'm hoping to ride my bicycle more (though not in the snow!), and I want to try some low-key running through a Couch to 5K program. My goal with that would be to run a 5K this year. I'd also like to do some hiking, and am hoping to get The Tim involved in that as well. (We'll see.)
2. Food. I eat pretty healthily, so there are no major changes for me here. But I would like to put more effort into cooking things that will serve more than one meal. It's nice during the week to come home and be able to have a nice meal without it taking hours to fix. So I'm going to try and expand my repertoire of soups, casseroles, and other dishes that by their nature make more than just two servings.
3. Clothing. I'm going to try and make my wardrobe more cohesive, and wearable. I want to go through my closet and only keep the things that I really like, will actually wear/still fit, and work with more than one other item that I own. It's not like I have a vast wardrobe, but it's become a mishmash of stuff over the past couple of years, and I want to pare it down. I may try to save some money and invest in a new winter coat or some other big item, but will try to keep my spending under control otherwise.
4. Beauty products/habits. I already have this pretty well under control, so I'll try to stay with my good habits here.
5. Attitude. For the past couple of years, I've tried the One Little Word for the year idea. My word for both of those years was "kindness" and though I'm not through working on that, I can say that I have been successful in being conscious of the word and changing my behavior. I hope that now it will be a habit, so I'm choosing another word for 2014, which is grace. As in a quote I saw here: "I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection." Which basically means to remember that perfect should never get in the way of good. I tend to be an obsessive perfectionist, and though I'm better at letting perfection go than I used to be, I need to work on it more. Plus, I would really like to live my life with more grace and graciousness, in the hope to make grace work with kindness. Life doesn't have to be as complicated as I often make it, and I also need to realize how great my life is and can be. I'm hoping that grace will be my inspiration and my result.
Onward! :-)
I think I mentioned here in previous posts, that I finally realized that making New Year's resolutions just didn't work for me. Once I started to think of goals and intentions, I took a different approach, and even when I didn't exactly reach them, I didn't have the same feeling of failure as I did with failed New Year's resolutions. On the one hand, it's the terminology, but on the other hand, my goals and intentions were things that were more or less baby steps, not all-encompassing.
This year, I am going to work on the following:
1. Fitness. I didn't do as well as I'd hoped, partly because of a few illnesses that knocked me out for weeks at a time, and partly because I got lazy. I'm still more fit than I was in previous years, but this year, I'd like to be more active. So I'm hoping to ride my bicycle more (though not in the snow!), and I want to try some low-key running through a Couch to 5K program. My goal with that would be to run a 5K this year. I'd also like to do some hiking, and am hoping to get The Tim involved in that as well. (We'll see.)
2. Food. I eat pretty healthily, so there are no major changes for me here. But I would like to put more effort into cooking things that will serve more than one meal. It's nice during the week to come home and be able to have a nice meal without it taking hours to fix. So I'm going to try and expand my repertoire of soups, casseroles, and other dishes that by their nature make more than just two servings.
3. Clothing. I'm going to try and make my wardrobe more cohesive, and wearable. I want to go through my closet and only keep the things that I really like, will actually wear/still fit, and work with more than one other item that I own. It's not like I have a vast wardrobe, but it's become a mishmash of stuff over the past couple of years, and I want to pare it down. I may try to save some money and invest in a new winter coat or some other big item, but will try to keep my spending under control otherwise.
4. Beauty products/habits. I already have this pretty well under control, so I'll try to stay with my good habits here.
5. Attitude. For the past couple of years, I've tried the One Little Word for the year idea. My word for both of those years was "kindness" and though I'm not through working on that, I can say that I have been successful in being conscious of the word and changing my behavior. I hope that now it will be a habit, so I'm choosing another word for 2014, which is grace. As in a quote I saw here: "I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection." Which basically means to remember that perfect should never get in the way of good. I tend to be an obsessive perfectionist, and though I'm better at letting perfection go than I used to be, I need to work on it more. Plus, I would really like to live my life with more grace and graciousness, in the hope to make grace work with kindness. Life doesn't have to be as complicated as I often make it, and I also need to realize how great my life is and can be. I'm hoping that grace will be my inspiration and my result.
Onward! :-)
24 November 2013
Ready Set Go!
I truly love this time of year. I love the weather (yes, even though it's 27 degrees today), the anticipation, and the fact that - in spite of what everyone on TV and in the media want to tell me about calories - this is the time when some of the best and most special foods are painstakingly prepared, and happily received on the table.
Our season starts slightly earlier, as this past Monday was The Tim's birthday, so there was cake, presents, and a day off work. Some years, we have barely finished the birthday cake before it's time for pumpkin pie, but this year there was enough time difference to savor one and look forward to the other.
One thing I don't love though, is how people have begun to let the holiday shopping season encroach on Thanksgiving. Maybe it's because I am not usually interested in the things that are marked down on sale, or because shopping at any time in a big crowd is not appealing. One of the reasons I have always loved Nordstrom's (even though I can seldom afford to buy anything there), is that a) they do not decorate for Christmas until after Thanksgiving (which if I were in charge would be the law!), and they stay closed on Thanksgiving. It was bad enough when a lot of the "big box" and/or discount stores started opening in the evening - and now many of them, much earlier - on that day, but this year Macy's has joined in. So very disappointing. One of my friends posted this link on Facebook, and I think it's a very thought-provoking piece.
However, I am an expert at ignoring things like this, as well as places that start playing Christmas music or put up decorations way too early, and now - it's Thanksgiving time! It will be here in just a few days. I can already smell the stuffing, and the baking pies. I am already thinking how nice it will be to have a day when the only real expectation is that it will be cozy and relaxing.
Only after Thanksgiving weekend will it be time to gear up for December. But as far as I'm concerned, it's all good .... REALLY good. :-)
Our season starts slightly earlier, as this past Monday was The Tim's birthday, so there was cake, presents, and a day off work. Some years, we have barely finished the birthday cake before it's time for pumpkin pie, but this year there was enough time difference to savor one and look forward to the other.
One thing I don't love though, is how people have begun to let the holiday shopping season encroach on Thanksgiving. Maybe it's because I am not usually interested in the things that are marked down on sale, or because shopping at any time in a big crowd is not appealing. One of the reasons I have always loved Nordstrom's (even though I can seldom afford to buy anything there), is that a) they do not decorate for Christmas until after Thanksgiving (which if I were in charge would be the law!), and they stay closed on Thanksgiving. It was bad enough when a lot of the "big box" and/or discount stores started opening in the evening - and now many of them, much earlier - on that day, but this year Macy's has joined in. So very disappointing. One of my friends posted this link on Facebook, and I think it's a very thought-provoking piece.
However, I am an expert at ignoring things like this, as well as places that start playing Christmas music or put up decorations way too early, and now - it's Thanksgiving time! It will be here in just a few days. I can already smell the stuffing, and the baking pies. I am already thinking how nice it will be to have a day when the only real expectation is that it will be cozy and relaxing.
Only after Thanksgiving weekend will it be time to gear up for December. But as far as I'm concerned, it's all good .... REALLY good. :-)
09 August 2013
Eating Clean
I really try to eat healthfully most of the time, though like everyone else, I'm not 100% successful all of the time. Life is too short not to enjoy some things.
A few years ago, Wendy posted on her blog that she was making a conscious effort to eat better and feel better, through something called the Eat-Clean Diet. I was skeptical at first because, well, it was a diet plan, and I find most of those unrealistic, at least in the long run. But as I poked around the website, it seemed more like a way of eating rather than a specific diet plan, where you gave up so much for so long.
So we gave it a try, and really liked it! At first, we followed it very closely, mostly to see if our habits changed, but also to see if we could do it reasonably. Granted, since we try to eat well in the first place, it wasn't too hard to adjust, and we started in the summer which means that fresh fruits and veggies were readily available. And honestly, it wasn't too difficult, and I for one felt a lot better physically. As far as I know, I don't have any serious gastrointestinal issues, but let's just say that eating clean made me more comfortable and leave it at that. My husband was really pleased, because he also lost quite a bit of weight. (I did too, but that wasn't my primary goal. It does help with that, though, if you are looking for something to try.)
Of course, after our three-month strict trial, we stopped being so very careful. The interesting thing is that we had been able to change our eating habits somewhat, and we did add in a glass of wine or an alcoholic beverage to the mix, because we enjoy that. In the intervening times, we've ebbed and flowed as far as our "dedication," but I can truthfully say that we keep with the Eat-Clean Diet overarching theme.
Why am I sharing this? Because in the past couple of weeks, I've talked to people who are trying to think of how they can eat better, and consume less junk food or processed food. And as I was thinking about it, I thought, why not share the info here as well?
I'm not saying that everyone should try it, or that everyone even needs to try it. I just thought it was worth mentioning as an option for anyone who wants to give it a try. Let me know if you try it, and what you think.
Bon appetit!
A few years ago, Wendy posted on her blog that she was making a conscious effort to eat better and feel better, through something called the Eat-Clean Diet. I was skeptical at first because, well, it was a diet plan, and I find most of those unrealistic, at least in the long run. But as I poked around the website, it seemed more like a way of eating rather than a specific diet plan, where you gave up so much for so long.
So we gave it a try, and really liked it! At first, we followed it very closely, mostly to see if our habits changed, but also to see if we could do it reasonably. Granted, since we try to eat well in the first place, it wasn't too hard to adjust, and we started in the summer which means that fresh fruits and veggies were readily available. And honestly, it wasn't too difficult, and I for one felt a lot better physically. As far as I know, I don't have any serious gastrointestinal issues, but let's just say that eating clean made me more comfortable and leave it at that. My husband was really pleased, because he also lost quite a bit of weight. (I did too, but that wasn't my primary goal. It does help with that, though, if you are looking for something to try.)
Of course, after our three-month strict trial, we stopped being so very careful. The interesting thing is that we had been able to change our eating habits somewhat, and we did add in a glass of wine or an alcoholic beverage to the mix, because we enjoy that. In the intervening times, we've ebbed and flowed as far as our "dedication," but I can truthfully say that we keep with the Eat-Clean Diet overarching theme.
Why am I sharing this? Because in the past couple of weeks, I've talked to people who are trying to think of how they can eat better, and consume less junk food or processed food. And as I was thinking about it, I thought, why not share the info here as well?
I'm not saying that everyone should try it, or that everyone even needs to try it. I just thought it was worth mentioning as an option for anyone who wants to give it a try. Let me know if you try it, and what you think.
Bon appetit!
03 January 2013
A Couple of Intentions
You may recall that I mentioned a couple of posts ago that last year, I toyed with the idea of "intentions" rather than resolutions for New Year's. I've been sick since the day before New Year's Eve, so I haven't spent a lot of time on thinking about it, but there are a some of things I already know I want to try.
First, I was reading a blog the other day (God forbid I remember which one), where the blogger said that she was in fact making resolutions, but only a month at a time, and her January resolution was to lose weight, and declutter her closet. That got me to thinking, and I recalled that when I first started this blog, I vowed to take baby steps to reach my health and fitness goals, so that - theoretically at least - they would be more manageable. It all worked pretty well, so I want to try that. So one of my intentions for this year is to try and lose 2 pounds a month - and preferably, not the same 2 pounds each time! This strikes me as a reasonable, doable, intention.
Then today, I was thinking that when I feel better (oh please let it be soon!), I should try to plan ahead with meals a little bit better. I eat the same thing for breakfast every morning - oatmeal with raisins, cinnamon, and sometimes slivered almonds, along with a side of fruit if at all possible in the cold months; cold cereal with a side of fruit the rest of the year - so breakfast is not really an issue. Cooking dinner is something I share with my husband (he cooks one night, I cook the next), so I want to try and fix one dish at least twice a month ahead for the next week during January.
Then there is lunch. I usually take my lunch, since a) I don't want to go broke, and 2) deciding what I want can take the better part of my lunch hour. But as much as I wish it were, it's usually not anything I think too far ahead about. PB&J is a favorite, but sometimes I just want something different. So my other intention for January is to plan my lunches, and where possible, fix the ingredients ahead of time. Even if it's just a list that says something like: Monday - PB&J. Tuesday - cheese and crackers. Wednesday - soup. You get the picture.
This seems as if it could actually work. But at least if it becomes undoable/a failure/whatever, I can re-think things for February.
I'll keep you posted. :-)
First, I was reading a blog the other day (God forbid I remember which one), where the blogger said that she was in fact making resolutions, but only a month at a time, and her January resolution was to lose weight, and declutter her closet. That got me to thinking, and I recalled that when I first started this blog, I vowed to take baby steps to reach my health and fitness goals, so that - theoretically at least - they would be more manageable. It all worked pretty well, so I want to try that. So one of my intentions for this year is to try and lose 2 pounds a month - and preferably, not the same 2 pounds each time! This strikes me as a reasonable, doable, intention.
Then today, I was thinking that when I feel better (oh please let it be soon!), I should try to plan ahead with meals a little bit better. I eat the same thing for breakfast every morning - oatmeal with raisins, cinnamon, and sometimes slivered almonds, along with a side of fruit if at all possible in the cold months; cold cereal with a side of fruit the rest of the year - so breakfast is not really an issue. Cooking dinner is something I share with my husband (he cooks one night, I cook the next), so I want to try and fix one dish at least twice a month ahead for the next week during January.
Then there is lunch. I usually take my lunch, since a) I don't want to go broke, and 2) deciding what I want can take the better part of my lunch hour. But as much as I wish it were, it's usually not anything I think too far ahead about. PB&J is a favorite, but sometimes I just want something different. So my other intention for January is to plan my lunches, and where possible, fix the ingredients ahead of time. Even if it's just a list that says something like: Monday - PB&J. Tuesday - cheese and crackers. Wednesday - soup. You get the picture.
This seems as if it could actually work. But at least if it becomes undoable/a failure/whatever, I can re-think things for February.
I'll keep you posted. :-)
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