This morning a co-worker asked me for the eleventy-billionth time why I am not retired. She is not a person who likes me, and is frequently making comments about how I'm so old, and how I should be retired, etc., etc. My most favorite recent thing was when she complained to HR because every morning when she gets in, I say "Good morning" to her, and she doesn't want me to talk to her (which I didn't know). I asked the HR person if she saw the irony of calling me in to talk to me when I was the one with good manners. She agreed, but said I should try not to "annoy" the person anyway.
As my friend Lisa used to say, Jesus Christ on a snowmobile!
Anyway. The basic answer to why I am not retired is that I cannot afford to retire. And sadly, it doesn't look like I can even plan to retire anytime in the next few years, if at all. Which is extremely disappointing to me, since I had a plan to retire and become a dog walker because a) dogs, and b) exercise. Fortunately I have a dog of my own to walk now, even if I do it for free. :-)
The funny thing about getting that question yet again this a.m., is that since then, I have read two things that were specifically geared towards discussions of age.
The first was this blog post, which caused me to immediately go to the public library website and put a hold on the book discussed. I enjoy seeing people discuss language as well, and the concept of "ageless" as an ageist concept was interesting to me. Sort of like the whole discussion a year or so ago where beauty products were encouraged to be "pro-aging" as opposed to "anti-aging." There are so many ways and levels to even start this discussion, but I feel that a lot of the time - as with so many other things in life - we start out with guns blazing, and then fall back when something else shiny shows up, or life happens, etc. (I must admit to ALWAYS being distracted by shiny things, both literally and figuratively speaking.)
Then a friend of mine who has recently decided that she is through worrying about her weight and dieting sent me a link to this article.
First of all, can I say how much the title amuses me? I thought at first, "Wait, I thought Liz was giving up on diets," and then really appreciated how the author was making it work. Yes, it discusses diet culture and how it messes us up, etc., but it also addresses how we feel about ourselves throughout our lives and how we let others define our place - a pretty teenager, a young mom, a woman with middle-age-spread, and old lady. Laura Lippman takes us on her personal journey, and uses herself as an example of how hard it can be sometimes to be happy in our own skin.
Am I Old? I'm 63 years old, so yes, I guess I'm old as opposed to being middle-aged (since I have no expectation of living to be 126). Some days, I *feel* really old. I don't think I look particularly old, but then again, I have always - even as a teenager - been comfortable in my own skin, and though I don't want to look scary, or decrepit, I also don't want to look 25, and I enjoy being able to move my forehead.
Does It Matter? Sometimes, like when I can't get a job interview because it's assumed I'll be retiring soon. Or when people assume that I don't understand something because it's "something young people think/do/say." I mean, it's not stopping me from living my life. I'd rather be my age than dead.
Do I Care? I have always longed to be 64, even since The Beatles sang about it. And I really really hoped to have animals at the time named Vera, Chuck, and Dave. I *will* be 64 next year, but I'm not gonna suddenly have three more animals, so that's kinda too bad. Otherwise, I don't let my age bother me too much. I must admit that a lot of the time, I have to stop and think for a minute when someone asks me how old I am, because I just don't give it a lot of thought. Again, I'd rather be my age than dead.
If you go to Google Images, and enter "old lady," you mostly get this:
(OK, I'll admit that I kinda sorta identify with the woman above ...)
But "old women" also look like this:
and of course, one of my faves:
(Yes, I know she has a stylist, etc. for her personal apprearances, red carpets, and
other stuff. I just like her because I think she is pretty amazing no matter what.)
How do you feel about all of this? Do you mind getting older? Do you like the way you look for the most part? I'm curious.
1 comment:
Such a fine post Bridget! I'm comfortable in my skin, comfortable with/in my age, and would not like to be younger. Some days I do long for no arthritis pain, but I certainly don't want to be in my 40's again...or my 50's.
The Laura Lippman article was great!
And, for the record, your HR department should be calling in your "friend" for harassing folks about age.
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