You may think, "Well, OK, but I have no idea what you are talking about." Frankly, that's what I would be expecting you to say. So let me explain.
I have a friend in the cyberverse who is a year older than I am, and is a fashion blogger. She posts her outfits and makeup choices every day, and she also has a YouTube channel where she discusses beauty, fashion, life, etc. from the viewpoint of what she calls a "mature" woman (she just turned 63). She is attractive, seems like a lot of fun, and also has a good sense of style - you know, a person who can put things together and they look fashionable (whereas, I put things on and they are clothes). I enjoy her blog and her podcasts, but I am pretty sure that if we met in real life, we would not be good friends.
Why?
Because she is an activist when it comes to wanting advertisers and society in general to embrace older women, and the "pro-aging" movement. She writes to companies all of the time telling them to use someone other than 20-year-old stick models in their advertisements; she asks them to design with the older woman in mind; and she will cancel any magazine subscription where they do not feature any mature women, or use the term "anti-aging." (She must have a lot of magazine subscriptions, since she has cancelled at least 5 during the time I've known her.)
I get her point. I really do. And I will admit that when I see someone who is clearly out of their twenties in an advertisement (print or otherwise), I think it's great. I do wish that it was easier to find clothes that don't make me look as if I want to relive my teens or twenties (once was more than enough, thank you!), so I can appreciate that part.
But you know what? I really don't care, in the grand scheme of things. Even as a teenager and young adult, it seriously never ever occurred to me that women in magazines or on TV were supposed to look like me, or anyone that I knew. I figured they were out of the norm of my experience because that was their job. I didn't care about how thin they were/were not, because they didn't look like anyone I ever saw around anyway. I might think, "Oh that's a nice dress," or like their lipstick or whatever, but NEVER did I get the message that that is how I was supposed to look. I'm not exactly sure why, but really and truly it just never occurred to me. Probably because I was a pretty weird kid, but even as a young adult I never expected it.
Then I got older. And the first time it occurred to me that I was actually "invisible" was when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and had a mastectomy. It became clear to me that because I was older (late 40s) and had no children, it didn't "matter" as much. If the worst happened, I wouldn't leave half-orphaned children and/or grandchildren behind, and since I was the age I was, it's not like I should worry about whether or not I looked that good afterwards. I will admit that this was extremely frustrating, but again, I always just figured it was others' problem, not mine.
So do I care about my appearance? Yes, of course. I try to look the best I can, when I can. I keep active so I can enjoy my life more and be healthier, and live longer to be with friends and family. I enjoy dressing up on occasion, and I do wear makeup and [attempt to] fix my hair. I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin, and have been for most of my life. And though I would like the world to do things my way, it doesn't. I don't mind being invisible for the most part.
I don't think I have to look like her:
any more than I think I *should* look like her:
but I also hope I don't look like her:
What about you? Are you an activist like my cyber-friend? Or like me, who can understand and appreciate her position on things, but can't be bothered to get worked up over it?
6 comments:
NO activist here. I don't even wear make up anymore. I keep things very simple and that is just my way. My friends have done much to keep themselves younger including lots of surgery, but not me. I am also going gray, I love it.
I am an activist because it's Not Just About Me.
No, I don't fall for the propaganda, and I'm smart enough and confident enough to stand up for myself, and I had the benefit of being raised in a two-parent household with a mom and dad who taught me the value of Individuality and Brains. But not everyone did. And that is where it starts in many cases.
I advocate for people who, for whatever reason, cannot advocate for themselves. And it has to start with a cultural shift in many cases. Women of any age should not be okay with being invisible because that invisibility leads to a lack of funding equality for cancer research. It leads to women having to pay more for prescription birth control than men have to pay for Viagra. It leads to female inmates having to pay for tampons and pads as a commissary item when men don't have that burden.
If the only women out there in ads and films are young and attractive, then that makes people think that The Standard Woman should be that way. And hence, the rest of us become Invisible. And we lose our representation and power in the world.
I'm Not Okay with that.
Meredith, I beg to differ; you ARE an activist! You have advocated for lots of causes/people through your blog. You put your opinions (and your pink hats!) out into the world with strength and purpose. You were willing to lose readers/commenters because of it. That is activism.
I'm more on YOUR side of the story.
But just this morning I was thinking about how the print media tells us we are just fine and we should love ourselves just as we are and THEN ......they try to sell us all kinds of things to make ourselves BETTER! LOL
I guess I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin.
I read fewer and fewer of the magazines I used to enjoy (Real Simple being the main one) as they just don't speak to my life anymore.
I'm with you. I'm comfortable with myself and my age (and, I might add, thankful to not be 18 or 25 or even 35). I don't watch TV much at all (other than masterpiece and Netflix stuff) and don't look at "fashion" magazines these days. I just find them annoying. Too many other things I'd rather be doing.
I'm not much of an activist either, but then I don't often look at any fashion mags or websites. I always have to laugh when I see magazine covers that say something like "a new routine to get your makeup down to 20 minutes!! Get it under two and I might read it. I'm pretty comfortable with my style, or lack thereof.
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